Thursday, April 18, 2013

Stay low and don't be scared! Mom get down.

Milo's preschool class took an awesome field trip to the fire station. I was excited cause I got to go. I'm usually working so don't get to go but Mr. Jep and I tagged along this time around.

They do a really cute tour, a movie and most of all teach the kids to not be afraid if they see a man in the big suit. I could see how as a little child it could be kind of scary.

Best part of the whole lesson though- a few weeks after the trip I was cooking and got a little side tracked. Which resulted in a bit of smoke in the kitchen. As I was fixing the "over cooked" food Milo came crawling in to the kitchen. I asked what he was doing and said that's what he learned from the fireman. "Stay low and don't be scared! Mom get down!" Milo said. Trust me the smoke was not bad at all but I was glad to know Milo learned some valuable lessons- and yes I crawled my way out if the kitchen just to show him I can listen too.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Favorite moments

There is so many milestones in the first year of life-smiles, laughs, talking, walking, eating, sleeping, and just being a perfect baby.

That first bath is one of my favorites. Being able to finally cut off the hospital bands, have that special bonding moment and making that baby smell so heavenly, you know that smell that doesn't last for very long!!
Mr. Jep didn't love his first bath, but since has learned to love his tub time. It was the first time the two of us were totally alone and I love that moment of knowing I'm all he's got to take care, love and nurture him, at that time.

Another favorite has been allowing Saige and Milo a turn to feed him. Breastfeeding can usually take that fun away but I knew how much it meant to them to help take care of their baby. So we pumped a little earlier and when baby Jep was ready to eat Saige and Milo were able to feed him. There was such a special feeling, such a love that my first two babies had for this little one. What a lucky guy Jep is. His two older siblings adore him and make sure his every need is taken care of.

I need to remember these smaller moment. Moments of silence, moments of laughter but most importantly moments of life. We are so lucky to be trusted with these spirits and I need to remember Heavenly Fathers hand and trust him to guide us in the right way to teach these kids. Cause heaven knows I could screw this up pretty quick!

Thursday, April 11, 2013


Milo has been practicing his counting this week. And to my surprise counts to one hundred almost flawlessly- that's quite the talent in our preschool circle. After one hundred he gets a little confused as to what comes first. And it makes me giggle. It won't last long till he figures it out, but until then we will continue to count to "eighty-hundreds".

Love this guy.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Jep South Smith

He made it. We have been waiting 5 years for this sweet boy to join our family. Having Saige and Milo so close together (16 months), we knew we wanted to space things out a bit but 5 years snuck quickly on us. It's crazy how life does that.

Mr. Jep's pregnancy was a bit different than the first two but overall was just great. I had to consider its been a while and my body is now 5 years old-- I am 30 now-- and things just seemed different. I was sick during the first bit and actually didn't tell anyone (including Matt) for a while. He was going through his last bit of school and I really really didn't want to add to his stress- but don't worry I told him right after! But being sick, extremely tired and trying to take care of the two crazies at home was a whole new adventure. Luckily we told our families in June and couldn't wait for him to come.

Things were going great and we were excited to find out who would be joining our family. I had that great "mothers instinct" and thought for sure that this baby was another girl. I made the mistake and told Saige that I was sure it was a girl, which made her day. She started calling my belly little girl and telling people were are having a girl. The ultrasound appointment came and I WAS WRONG!! Very wrong. This was one proud boy and he was not afraid to share with us. It made Matt's day. Not only was he getting another buddy but we made an agreement that if it was a girl I could name her and vise versa - i just lost naming rights!!!!!!

During the ultrasound the tech was looking around at a few things, jotted some notes down and had a slight puzzled look. She mentioned she was having a hard time seeing where the umbilical cord was attached but would just mention it to the dr - which meant they would have me come back for another one. After the 2nd ultrasound my amazing doctor, Dr. Terry, told me that I had something called "velamentous cord insertion" which there are different degrees and mine was not on the serious end but I did have something that they would just keep an eye on.

What the heck is that??? Well I had the hardest time saying the odd words, let alone remembering what it is. But according to the wonderful Internet: Velamentous cord insertion is an abnormal condition during pregnancy. Normally, the umbilical cord inserts into the middle of the placenta as it develops. In velamentous cord insertion, the umbilical cord inserts into the fetal membranes then travels within the membranes to the placenta.

Still confused? Me too. And to be honest I didn't fully understand it until I delivered Jep and asked Dr Terry to show me the placenta. (I asked Matt to take a photo of it so I could show those that would want to see it. It was cool, but Matt thought I was nuts. So no photo was taken.)

Basically the cord attached itself to the membranes of the placenta which under stress of delivering could rupture and cause blood loss and affect both Jep's and my life. So it was a little more serious than I may have thought but I completely trusted my Dr and I was able to have lots and lots of ultrasounds over the course of the pregnancy.

Things progressed great, and he was growing fast and really didn't have too many other concerns- I really feel so blessed to have great pregnancies. As time was nearing I started feeling like I wanted to experience the whole "lets rush to the hospital, I'm having this baby" experience. Since my other two were induced I was never able to do that. The date was coming closer and closer, I was taking weekly non-stress tests at the hospital, monitoring his growth ( this boy was looking big!!), and debating whether or not to be induced. Dr Terry was concerned about the cord issue so wouldn't let me go past the 29th but kept urging me to be induced on the 22nd. I pushed it to the 24th, (I had to wheel and deal a little). I continued to pray and stew over why I was so hesitant about being induced.
A few nights before I was scheduled to deliver, I couldn't sleep and watched a movie called, " The business of being born", which I really enjoyed and loved the different perspective to childbirth. But I was told by my sister Candace not to even think about watching it till after I delivered. Big mistake. It made me question my choice and added to the reasons not to be induced.

I prayed and prayed and PRAYED the day before the induction, I waited for the hospital to call to schedule the induction. I told myself that whatever thoughts I was feeling at the time they called I would do. So milo, saige and I set off to run those last minute errands- just in case I did deliver that next day. While leaving Target I got the call- took long enough- and I had this overwhelming rush come and the feeling that this was not about what I wanted but getting this baby here healthy, and I decided right there we were having a baby tomorrow. Here we go!

Called Matt to let him know anytime after 6 am tomorrow we were having this baby. He was relieved. Never understood why I was debating- he likes the predictable. The next day we waited, got the kids off to their schools and they called at 9 am and said to come in. January 24th just so happened to be the day Utah froze.

Freezing rain took over and between Lehi and the Salt Lake there was about 40 accidents. Yep. We weren't getting there any time soon. (read about it here if you forgot!) Which also had me wondering if maybe I could still back out. 2 hours later we got to the hospital. They quickly got us to a room and were ready for this baby.

With the lovely gown on, iv in, pitocin started, we were having a baby. I decided I wanted to see how long I could tolerate pain, so the epidural could wait. Well about 20 minutes after the pitocin was started the anesthesiologist announced he was going to be doing a c-section and would be unavailable for the next while. So the nurse turned to me and said, "This maybe your only chance. Dr. Terry likes to speed things up and will want to get this baby here!" Well there went my plan! So within 5 minutes the dr was there prepping me for the dreaded needle.

As I laid there he asked me questions, I remember from my past two they were funny questions that never applied to me like " do you taste metal", he then asked me if I had some tingling in my arms and legs and I then realized that I did. I told him yes and then instantly could not feel my legs. Then couldn't feel my arms. I started getting really thirsty, and laid there helpless as I listened to the nurse alert us that my blood pressure dropped. It was the weirdest feeling. Matt said I turned ghostly white and I could sense a little bit of concern in his actions.
Apparently the anesthesiologist overshot the epidural space and gave me a spinal block, something he says happens maybe once or twice a year. I was glad to take that spot in January for him. But said it would start wearing off pretty quick so to stay in contact with him and he could come apply more when needed.
I started to feel my hands and arms again, but felt totally helpless-especially when the nurse wanted me to change sides I was laying on. Man talk about dead weight. Contractions were progressing and I started to feel them slightly- more like the pressure of them but the epidural had taken the edge off which I liked- and what was I asked him to do. But as things progressed I was feeling more and more and was I was getting pretty far dilated it became quite painful. I am pretty sure there was time there where I didn't have any epidural working. He came in injected a little more which made me completely numb again. He called me the biggest lightweight he had ever had and apologized again and again. Oh well I thought I guess it's better to not feel the pain then to feel it all. The nurse checked and I was dilated pretty far, I started to feel my body again and started to feel the pain again. This time I told Matt that I just get the urge to push this baby out. It was amazing how my body was adjusting to it and how it really was telling me IT'S TIME. (So in a way I was able to feel the natural way haha). Dr Terry came and told me it was time to get this baby out. After a couple sets of pushing we had the most beautiful 9 lb 4 oz baby boy. Lots of hair, and looking just like our Milo boy, or so we thought at the time. But as Dr. Terry pulled him out, he said. "Oh wow! Wow! Look at this!!" I assumed that it was the cord insertion thing but as I glanced at my brand new baby I noticed how wrapped up in his umbilical cord he was. This boy had it wrapped around his neck and wrapped around his arm and leg. Dr. Terry looked at me with a very serious look, grabbed my hand, with tears in his eyes, and said, "this was why you were to have this baby today!!!" The stress test days earlier didn't show any concern with the cord and this little acrobatic boy managed to wrap himself up over the past few days! Dr. Terry was quite convinced there would have been serious problems had we waited.

I felt so overwhelmed with the spirit at that point. I instantly knew that the decision to be induced was not one of my own but from our Heavenly Father who knew what was going on. But here he was. He was perfect- I love having these big babies. I am not sure why we have them so big but I am grateful for not having to be too gentle like I would have to be with a tiny baby.
The nurse quickly handed him to me but noticed he had some erratic breathing and was blowing bubbles. So the nurses pulled him away and started helping get his airways clear. Dr. Terry then showed me the placenta ( insert picture that we were going to take) and it was quite amazing. Several students and nurses came in to see it, apparently it was quite the spectacle.

The nurses attempted several things but told us they would be taking him to the NICU to get his breathing better. I understood and was a little out of it but knew he was going to be just fine.

The one advantage to the epidural issue was that at the end I could feel everything again and after delivering I was able to get up right away. After Saige I couldn't feel my legs for several hours after. We got our things and headed up to our room, as we entered I noticed a little note written on the white board from my sweet Dad, who had been waiting for us but had to leave before we made it up there. I really do have the sweetest Dad in the world and wouldn't trade him for anything. (Thanks Dad that meant the world to me.)

After settling in, getting a bit to eat, and trying to soak in that we just had a baby, we headed down to the NICU to try to get our big boy to eat. Entering that part of the hospital was such an experience. The cleaning procedure just to enter was amazing but once going inside those doors I quickly realized why. The smallest most fragile lives were inside there and there was such an overwhelming feeling of the spirit there. I knew there were prayers being said for all of those sweet babies and you could feel it. There was a sweet little family right next to Jep's bed that were hovering over their babies sweet body, after passing by I soon realized that this baby was about the same size as Jep's head and that we were fortunate to have an almost healthy baby that we knew would not be in there too long. After talking with the nurse and getting him to eat a bit, Dr Terry showed up and just wanted to make sure I was doing okay. While I started to feed him, I was getting these shooting pains up the right side of my back and neck. It was making it incredibly difficult to sit and nurse. I wanted to stand to do it but they wouldn't let me. He told me it was just post delivery pain and my body was just "thanking me" for delivering a 9 pound baby.

We fed Jep some more then headed back up to our room, without our baby. As we were going through the hall of NICU, the pain became worse and I was feeling really nauseous. I thought for sure I was going to throw up and there was no nurse, dr, or even a garbage can in sight. So Matt told me to stand up and he grabbed the seat pad off the wheel chair and told me to throw up there. I really wish there was someone video taping us. I would like the good laugh now. Among the worst pain, the feelings of needing to vomit, I was trying to hold back the laughter of this crazy experience. Little did I know what was to come and what a blessing it then became that our baby was in the NICU being well taken care of.

As we wheeled into the mothers wing, the nurses at the front desk ran over and said are you okay? You are not looking good!! I tried to be strong but Matt quickly told them how I was feeling and she rushed me to our room got some meds for me and helped get me into bed. The problem was I couldn't sit or lay at that point. The pain was so intense. The only way that it took pressure off my neck and lower back was if I sat half way sitting with my arm propped behind me, supporting the weight. Which didn't last very long cause my arm was falling asleep. The nurses could not figure out what was causing the pain or never had experienced this. They had left the epidural in my back and wanted to keep it there for a full day to prevent "the worlds worst headache" my anesthesiologist said, but for some reason I felt that this was what was causing all of that pain. So we took it out. Now looking back I'm not sure if it was a combination of pain meds kicking in and the removal but it started feeling better- at least enough to be able to sit/lay down.
The next while was kind of a blur. I remember feeling lots of pain, being really confused as to what was going on, but finally getting our baby brought to us. His breathing was still funny and erratic at times but every test they ran on him told them nothing, so they asked us to just keep an eye on him. That I could do! And this kid already loved to eat so we spent lots of time together at the hospital.

My Mom brought the kids the next day and I loved seeing their personalities with this new baby. Saige was the second mother, wanting to hold him and love him to pieces. And Milo wanted nothing to do with him and wanted to wrestle with my dad. Typical boys. But I loved the moment that our family had with our new baby boy. Feeling as if Jep had always been there.

After lots of visits, thank you everyone who came- it meant the world to us- lots of tests on our baby, and lots of trips to the cafeteria for Matt (ask him about his culinary experience through our hospital stay!) we headed home.

I was feeling pretty good, I started to get a headache the day before we had left in the back of my eyes. The nurses weren't too worried and told me it was probably my hormones, that was just part of the joys of delivery and breastfeeding. The anesthesiologist told me to watch out for it and to let them know if I started to get a headache but I figured I would just trust the nurses and this was pretty common.

The next day I was laying on the couch with Jep and tried getting up. I felt as if every ounce of liquid in my body was rushing to my feet and I was blacking out and seeing spots. I laid back down and found I couldn't move my neck. And to make matters worse I was feeling the worst lower back pain ever. Oh great. I had never experienced such pain before, the pain from the deliver was more enjoyable than this and would take that over this pain any day.
I assumed the pain meds would take away some of the pain, and really hated taking then but tried taking some Percocet to ease the pain. It really did nothing. So I called Dr Terry's office to find out what to do. It must have been the overwhelming feelings of "I can't do this anymore!!!" But I started crying as I waited to talk to someone at the office. When I finally started talking to the girl, I think she thought I was in serious depression and was asking if I felt my life or the baby's life was in jeopardy. I told her it wasn't that type of thing but I think it was complications from my epidural. She calmed down and sent me to Dr Terry's nurse. She told me she would call the anesthesiologist to find out our next step. He called me right back, and told me he was anticipating my call. Told me what I was experiencing was that headache he was trying to prevent and that we needed to come in. We headed back to the hospital were he gave me a blood block.

Basically what had happened was when they entered the spinal space with the epidural it created a small hole and that I had been leaking spinal fluid. When I sat up the spinal fluid would drop and it was causing my brain to sit on my skull- which was causing the headaches and pain. Makes sense now- after knowing what had happened it was exactly what I was feeling. To patch it the dr drew blood from my arm and put it back into the exact same spot that the epidural was done. The blood would then clot and stop the spinal fluid from leaking. He thought the pain would be instantly gone but of course my luck it was not. I experienced severe headaches over the next few days and the lower back pain increased. I was advised to lay down as much as possible- which is really not realistic with a new baby but thank heavens my mom had then other two. And we found out Jep had jaundice so he was in the light bed that needed to be checked often. So Jep and I camped out in the living room like a bunch of crazies.

Over the next three weeks the pain eases and now being 8 weeks ago I can look at it as a big blob of time but honestly every day was a challenge there. The headaches finally left but the lower back pain was incredibly difficult to deal with. There were some days it would take me minutes to be able to bend down to pick Jep up. Matt was such an amazing help not only for me but for Jep. By far the most involved he had been with our other kids. I could not have done it without him and really felt our relationship grow so much closer.

So what do I take from this?
1- I will not take a healthy body for granted again.
2- I am seriously thinking of a natural birth next time (yes next time- Matt has already given me the okay to have ONE more! I'm hoping for twins/triplets next time.)
3- dr Terry, the nurses and even dr Kevin Myers my anesthesiologist, are amazing. They all took such good care of me, and I realize nothing was intentionally but they did take such good care once things did happen.
4- I have an amazing husband who takes such good care of me. I'm pretty stubborn and try to do everything myself. If I would just let him take care of me he does a stellar job. I'm a lucky lady.
5- we have great amazing fantastic families who helped take care of me and the other two kids. Which I could not have done it without you.
6- last I really just need to listen to our Heavenly Father. He truly has a plan for me and I just need to trust him. Going through some pain for a few weeks was physically and emotionally draining for me but it was short lived. I spent many moments praying and I know he was there helping me through it all.

So if you are still reading I'm impressed. I started writing this a week after having Jep and now am finally finishing it. Some days were to emotional for me to write but these feelings and experiences are ones I want to remember, as its been 8-weeks and I have forgotten a lot already and am feeling ready to have another, not really but I have forgotten a lot of it.

I thank Heavenly Father for this special angel. He is the sweetest thing and feel so lucky to be his momma. Here's to fun adventures and making sure this third child survives.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Easter beginnings.

The spring is coming and so is Easter. Each year around this time I get serious spring fever and want to be outside all the time. It's funny how in March and April we get so excited for 65-70 degree weather and in September we think its freezing. But I'll play the mind game and celebrate each degree warmer that we get.

As Easter sneaks up on us, I still have a hard time that it changes every year, we decorated eggs today. I love to see the creativity and the fun that my kids have! Spending it with their cousins and Mimi is also a fun treat.

Ps. We missed our Heward cousins, the loganites, and Lucy.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Easy Halloween Garland

I am slowly adding to the Halloween this year. Earlier I saw a tutorial for garland and fringe from The Alison Show. (She has a fun way of presenting things and does some really great detailed parties! And I found myself spending way too much time looking at her fun Halloween ideas, super easy, and inexpensive.)

So I immediately thought oh I am so making that for Halloween! Well I started several weeks ago and then I put it off. Matt kept asking me why we were becoming cheerleaders, as the tassels were around waiting for me to put them together. And then after some teasing from Matt I finished it all in one sitting. (Finding the time is always the hard part!)